I'm nervous! Why? I always get this way at the beginning of the school year. We start on Tuesday! Every beginning of the school year a fear takes over me... a dread that I will fail as a teacher, a mother, and spiritual mentor. I have no one to blame, no one to complain to, no one to say it’s not my fault...the buck stops with me. I am the educator.

Is my curriculum right for each child? Am I going to have the right attitude and correct spirit to help a frustrated child? Can I give each child what he/she needs? Can I do everything I'm supposed to do and be everything I'm supposed to be?

These are the thoughts that come into my head at the beginning of the school year.

Yes, I have all their books. Their boxes are filled with newly-sharpened pencils, colorful crayons, and pens—all the school supplies they need for the start of a new year. But am I ready? The teacher? The mom? The wife?

Working at a homeschool convention this summer, I met a lot of other homeschoolers, many of whom were homeschooling for the first time. They had that look in their eyes...like they were trapped between the excitement of the privilege of teaching their children and the fear of what to do, how to do it, and will they fail? Like a deer caught in the headlights the pitch dark on one of our country roads!

Homeschooling is not just that fuzzy feeling of having a clean house, the laundry done, breakfast ready for the perfectly dressed child, a clean kitchen after breakfast, school starting on time, and you and the child sharing a book on the couch as the sun shines in through the window! It's the day-to-day living. The times when the house is not clean, the kids are fussy, it's raining, and school and learning still need to continue.

Why? Because it has to. I will not take for granted the freedom I have in this great country to personally teach my children— not only the book learning that is required to get their diploma—but the biblical worldview and Godly character that my husband and I feel are important for each child's education.



The learning my children receive not only comes from the books but more importantly, it comes from a life wholly dedicated to God. It comes from a life that shines the love of Christ when the day is perfect and when the day is one where everyone is out of sorts, and the schedule is off.

That's what scares me the most. Can I be that mom? I want to be that mom! I want to be the mom that loves God and shows God's love. I want to be the mom that looks like Christ!

How can I be that mom, teacher, and mentor? I know the answer lies in THE teacher's edition, the manual for my life—God's Word.

My prayer is like that of Nehemiah...
"O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man." Nehemiah 1:11

And may I follow this pattern as Paul told the Corinthians: "Let all that you do be done in love.” And the Ephesian people— "I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Eph. :1-3

Because I want to do as I John says— "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." I John 3:18

This year as I seek to teach my six children, K-4 to 12th grade, I go on my knees begging God for His grace.

How about you? Are you nervous? Overwhelmed? Fearful of the burden of your children's education? You are not alone. Reach out to other homeschool moms and encourage each other. Spend time with Jesus reading his Word. Go forward strengthened by the grace that comes from Jesus. — "You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus..." 2 Timothy 2:1

Lastly, lean on Jesus!

“Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22